I can’t stand your religious meetings.
I’m fed up with your conferences and conventions.
I want nothing to do with your religion projects,
your pretentious slogans and goals.
I’m sick of your fund-raising schemes,
your public relations and image making.
I’ve had all I can take of your noisy ego-music.
When was the last time you sang to me?
Do you know what I want?
I want justice—oceans of it.
I want fairness—rivers of it.
That’s what I want. That’s all I want.
It's hard to say where this started, to define the exact point in our lives which launched this blog. In our very limited and brief time on earth, we've discovered that our God is far to infinite and complex to be bound to one point on a continuum. All of our lives are woven together in one great story that all points to him; Matt and I, our family and our stories, are just a tiny spec of a puzzle piece in the giant picture of creation that all points to Jesus.
Two years ago we decided to live more intentionally in several aspects of our lives. Although we both became Christians long before we met and married, it took us each about 20 years to start really reading the bible for ourselves. The more we have, the more Jesus has become the center of our lives, the very pinnacle on which every decision hangs. Jesus has been the center of every career move, family decision, activity, and direction of our life.
God never ceases to exceed our expectations, limits or dreams. In the 4+ years we've been married, we've moved across the country, served on mission trips, become debt free, had a kiddo, became a surrogate, fostered and adopted. We've helped lead youth groups, small groups, lived in a tiny house, renovated a house, and spent more time serving and connecting with people every chance we got.
Through it all, God has continued to peel back layer after layer of facade in our lives. The more we empty ourselves for others, the more we realize how full of ourselves we are. The times of deepest satisfaction are usually the times of deepest service.
I've resisted starting a blog because I am tired of the selfish drive that seems to taint everything I do. I don't want to praise my name, I don't want to focus on myself. I long to just continue to serve Jesus, and the more I talk about myself the more I struggle with pride and self worth over spending my time prioritizing others. But just a few weeks ago the pastor at our church commented in the middle of his sermon,
"Our relationship with Christ is personal, but it isn't private."
I love talking with people. I love encouraging and serving, praying for and honestly getting to know the deepest part of other people. My friends can tell you I suck at small talk; while others can walk up and talk about the weather and careers, I tend to start conversations with sentences like,
"Tell me about your deepest regrets and dreams."
"If you could plan out the next 20 years of your life, what would it look like?"
"Is there anything I can pray or do for you today?"
Yeah, maybe just a bit too intense for a run in on the street. But my awkward social interactions come from a place of true enjoyment in fellowship, in connecting with other people, being as much a true representative of Jesus as my sinful self can be, and seeing God weave in each other's influences in our lives to all point to the glory of God.
God has given me a true joy of writing, and I've seen the joys that come from connecting and sharing stories with other people. My relationship with Christ shouldn't be private, and if I can share it through writing and encourage just one person with the confessions, failings, struggles and triumphs in our own lives, I should.
So this is it. This is the place where my hubby and I will proclaim witness to the good news that is Jesus Christ, to spread the word of what he has done in our lives, and the infinite ways in which his grace covers all of our failed attempts to be like him.